Understanding my worth in Christ and practicing self-love were not concepts that I’ve always understood in the past. I sometimes found myself seeking relationships and friendships in search of validation and happiness but neither of these things were able to truly fill the void in my heart. When you don’t understand your worth in Christ, you will attempt to seek validation from various sources.
Many times, we tend to look to relationships, friendships, careers or various other things to validate us. Point blank period. Insecurities, rejection, abandonment and unforgiveness can be some of the reasons that we fall into this routine. Sometimes we tend to seek after relationships in hopes that they will bring us joy, happiness, healing (helping us get over a previous relationship) or (major one) cure our loneliness, you name it, there are numerous reasons.
Although a relationship may bring all of those things, they only provide a temporary mask if we do not allow God to heal, mold us and make us whole during our single season. Those relationships cannot provide the healing, love and restoration that your soul truly needs. However, if we are not careful, we can deceive ourselves into thinking that that all of our issues will be erased or solved by that relationship.
Now the desire to have and be in a relationship is not a bad thing so don’t feel guilty because of that desire. It is natural to desire love. However, in Proverbs 4:23 we are instructed to “Guard our heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”. If we do not allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in the decisions that we make we become vulnerable to the things of the world.
As women of God we must become rooted in His Word and whole before allowing ourselves to become involved in a relationship. In general, becoming whole means allowing yourself to become vulnerable before God by allowing Him to remove those skeletons that are hidden deep within us and becoming rooted in the Word. In becoming whole you begin to confidently walk in the purpose that He has for you. Prematurely jumping into relationships without allowing God to do His work in us during our single season could cause us to miss out on what God has for us while pursuing the desires of our flesh. And again, if we are not careful we could end up in a situation God did not approve us to be in or possibly prematurely jump into or delay a relationship that was intended to bless us.
Can being single be uncomfortable? Yes, at times it can be. However, I truly believe that God uses that season to guide you closer to His intended path for you. Your single season does not have to be a bad thing, it’s not a dreaded curse. It is a great time to grow in your purpose, accomplish your goals, travel, build valuable friendships and to discover and learn more about yourself. In pursuing God, you begin to understand and truly accept that the plans that He has for you are greater than the plans that you have for yourself.
You will also begin to see Him restore the things that you may have thought you lost! We operate in the now and only see a portion of the picture whereas God sees far beyond and has a greater plan. Through spending time in God’s Word, He is healing and restoring my soul more than I could’ve ever imagined. He is even working in areas of my life that I didn’t even realize needed reconstruction. Your time of reconstructing is Him preparing you for what He has for you in your future! I write this to encourage all women that you do not have to seek after relationships or friendships in order to discover true happiness because God’s love provides exactly what we need and its easily accessible to us all, we just have to give Him access!
“God, I ask that you would reposition my heart, mind and desires so that you may be glorified. Help me to surrender to you daily so that I may fulfill Your purpose for my life. In Jesus name, Amen.”